A house full and then some

1/10/01
There are 5 kitties here - 2 females, 3 males, all are altered (so I suppose they are 5 'its' now). There were 6, but Murp-less, the old old lady and alpha cat #1, died last spring. She was 20 and tired of the new kitties and just refused to wake up one day. In her prime she was a serious hair-baller and puker of any food she deemed necessary to life but to palate. Prissy, the oldest now, alpha female, is 7, and a rescue from a local McDonalds. She was trapped as a wee and wild kitten, suffered a bout of horrible respiratory after being spayed and a 2nd bout a year later, nothing more since then beyond hairballs, thank god. She has long hair, a worried look, lots of hair balls and random mini-pukes (small dribble messes). Her favorite puke spot is the rug in front of the washer, 2nd favorite is the pillow under the window on the bed.

Then comes the trio-from-hell, Bitsy, Lil dude and Swee' pea. They are half and full siblings (2 mommies and 2 daddies, 2 from 1 mommy and 2 daddys, 1 from 2nd mommy and 1 of the daddies), 5 years old, more rescues. Bitsy hates being touched, or looked at too much. However, once a human is deemed safe (by lying down and sleeping) she will curl around a foot and "love" it. This has potential pain, as if the foot moves the wrong way, she extends all claws and pulls it back to where she wants it. She is neat tho, and if she pukes (rarely), does it neatly and then buries it, usually by pulling a clean item from the laundry and dragging it to the offending pile.

Lil dude is an eater of weird things and power puker. His favorite non-food munchies are plastic easter grass and tree tinsel. Both of which I try to keep completely out of the house. These items cause much puking, several bouts for each munching. On the most expensive, hardest to clean items he can find. He considers these items dessert, so there is always much food along with glued together bits of what ever and gastric juices. Lil dude also has a serious gas problem - no vet has ever diagnosed why, and I have tried every food, herbal cure and vitamen regimen on the market with no change in odor. He is not a sickly cat, just a stinky one. Swee' pea hasn't been caught puking ever, not once. He does spend a lot of time in the litter box, tho.

Last, but not least, comes Miggins, a wee thing rescued when eyes were barely open, quite sick as a kitten, literally fit inside a tea cup. 2 vets told me he would never live. It was also thought for quite a while that Miggins was a she, but as he grew healthier and bigger it was discovered that she was a he. He has grown to a decent (8 lb) size with a tremendous ego. He is ALPHA CAT SUPREME. Walks like a bulldog. Bosses all other cats around. Even Prissy, who had a short run as Alpha Supreme after Murp-less died and before Miggins realized he could bully her around. Miggins pukes at random, small amounts but large spread (he has perfected the walk backwards and move head back and forth mode), usually liquid and always right where you step. Sometimes as you step.

Into this mess was introduced a mutt of a dog named Tess. Tess has learned that kitties have knives, knives that have "covers" that can be left stuck in the body, usually the face and ears. Tess is dumb and refuses to equate sticking her head into their nests and caves with having knives implanted - she has learned that chasing kitties and walking past "their" room will elicit knives, but not the head in the nest bit.

Bitsy decided Tess ate Murp-less (her momma substitute) and has been actively plotting the dog's death since. Bits is the main knife weilder. Tess is terrified of Bitsy, will cry and insist the humans walk her to the door to go out if Bitsy is in the area.

Miggins and Tess sleep together, play paws and groom each other - to an extent, as Tess can soak Miggins with 1 good lick and has been relegated to groomee for some time now. They also play chase and "eat you" - a silly game of air chewing and grunting that usually follows a good game of chase. Miggins does most of the air chewing and grunting - Tess is allowed minimal play time, as she drools and we all know how cats hate to be wet.

The other 3 kitties spend their days pretending the dog is a large mobile chair, one that they don't prefer to lounge on. Tess spends her day trying to get them to play, thus the head in the nest bit. Every now and then she tries to herd them all under the bed - they put up with this about once a month. The rest of the time they break out the knives and send her running. Lil dude gassed her once - if he could make that stink at will, the dog would never go near him. It gets funny, watching Tess run screaming away from the kitties, as she is over 60 lbs now and 28" tall, and the biggest kittie is Swee' pea, who currently carries a winter (ultra lazy) weight of 14 lbs and is 10 1/2" tall. Bitsy weighs in at 6 lbs and is 8" tall. Puking has been minimized by using hair ball remedy goo and hair ball formula food (which also seems to have reduced, but not eliminated, the gas problem) and removing all stringy potential munchies. But since the kitties seem to LIKE puking - not the act, but the effect on humans - they still manage to barf up a decent mess now and then (except, as I said, Swee' pee, who has yet to be caught puking - I swear one day I will find a petrified mass of kittie gastric expulsion behind the hot water tank or in a heat vent or some strange and bizaare place)